The Apology That Came Too Late

I had an apology come to me recently, for what I had suffered in childhood and what had happened in my adolescence. It came too late– it was so unexpected– and yet the timing was perfect.

I didn’t know anyone had noticed what I was going through, let alone cared. Any time I had raised my voice in the past it had been shut down, until I finally stopped speaking. Instead, I imploded, and in my 20’s, did quite a bit of harm/damage to myself.

And yes, God came and healed me ❤ Fully and forever. Which is why I say the apology came too late. And why I feel that it was perfect timing.

It’s not that I didn’t care about what happened by the time the apology came. I will always care. I will always think it was ugly and unfair. But by then, it didn’t HURT. Which is why I was able to receive the apology so gracefully. There was no ego. No pointing the finger. No “I told you so.”

There was only forgiveness.

I feel much better knowing that I had been mistaken about no one else caring. I simply hadn’t seen how scared and intimidated they had been too. But in retrospect it validated my feelings– no, I am not crazy, I did not make that up, it did happen, it was a big deal, and it was not right. All of it, validated. But also all of it, forgiven.

Now the past doesn’t feel like an unfinished rough draft, but a complete book that I can shut and put away.

I’m thankful to God for being the only One who was able to help me move past that, long before any apologies were ever aired. I’m thankful that God put me right where I needed to be, righted all wrongs, and redeemed, redeemed, redeemed. I’m thankful that I have the love and support of my family, mine and my husband’s, and thankful for my church family and friends as well. And I’m thankful for you too, Dear Reader 🙂 And although it came so much later, and I didn’t “need” it, I’m thankful for the apology that came.

Yari, the ✿ Lovely Panda Mom ✿

12 comments

  1. You take care dear friend!
    I won’t ask about your past, but you are definitely very strong because you are still standing 🔆
    .
    Sending you some positive vibes ✨
    And sorry, I’m running behind with reading your blogs. I didn’t know there were so many. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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